Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I just realized today it has been almost 2 months. Like I said before I needed to spend the time working on the problems that were going on in my life and I did. I also think part of it was feeling like I couldn’t speak about what was really going on for fear someone we know would find our blog read it and it would get back to the adoption social worker(our adoption is not finalized yet). I am not sure how other people feel but I felt like we had/have to be this perfect family or they would take our son from us. Add that to the fact we were having issues with the agency who was doing our post placement visits for us because we placed with a different agency and not them, it really made it bad. But at this point I feel I can be honest and share what has gone on and is going on.
We tried to work things out with the extended family member and just realized we were beating our heads against a brick wall. Until we sat down and talked with this person I wasn’t sure if this person didn’t see the faults they have, the problems they may be causing, or if it was being done with the full purpose of causing problems. I now 100% believe they think they are perfect and were well aware of what they were doing and were trying to cause problems. And to be honest was doing a VERY good job at it. I am not sure what finally snapped in my husbands head that day for him to finally see it but they are no longer in our life and I am perfectly fine with that.
My husband and I have been working on our relationship, adding him not working for over a year, the adoption and the above situation (it was a close family member of his) our marriage was pretty much falling apart. How does this happen we fought SO hard for our son, and then found a woman who trusted us to love him in a two parent home and we are less than 6 months into this and I don’t know how much more I can take and he doesn’t seem to care and on top of that notice that I am at this point. After a lot of pushing we finally went to speak with our pastor. It really helped for BOTH of us to see things from the other persons point. It also helped for him to see that he needed to and that it was also ok to tell this person they were no longer welcome in his life. He has also started working part time so that has helped a lot. We are getting to a much better place and enjoy spending time together again, something we hadn’t enjoyed in some time.
It has been a lot added to being new parents, let alone new parents via adoption. We just finished up our post placement visits and are awaiting our finalization hearing. We are still trying to navigate our relationship with our son’s birth mother. We want to have some sort of openness with her but it has been in and out with her, on her part not ours. I am hoping she is just using this time to get her life back on track and to let her heart heal a little and will come around.
I promise I am going to be better about updates, I think it is almost like therapy for me to write as well so I need to do it for myself too.
Until next time!
